Thursday, 21 November 2013

Frustration, Memory and Patterns

Of late, I have been frustrated with my level of progress with Portuguese. This has been odd, because the classes have gone really well, I have held my own in a few conversations (or, at least, held a conversation that flowed), and have seen signs of development in my written production. But, it can feel like a few steps forward and one back. Part of my problem is that because I am fluent in Spanish and because of its similarity to Portuguese, I seem to be stuck in a place where I see Portuguese only through a Spanish lens. This means that, currently for me, Portuguese is viewed as either like or unlike Spanish, rather than a thing in itself. I realise the problematic politics of that given the sometimes tense relationship there has been between the two countries over the centuries, but, I am coming from it as a learner who is eager to plot out patterns and relate them to prior learning rather than any reductive colonial or imperialistic intentions. 

As a method this is great for grammar and fine if you are thinking in terms of one or two words where you can see differences and similarities and remark upon them as helpful points of reference or curiosities. But, where you're trying to build up a whole sign system it becomes an edifice that can only be rickety. Let me explain. If word A is similar to word B in Portuguese, that's interesting and can be related in that file where that memory is stored. But, it is similar and not identical, so a further related fact must be stored with that. That's okay, if it's only one or two words and where there might a collection of words with related common patterns. For example, words ending in -tion and  -ción in English and Spanish, respectively, in general end in -ções in Portuguese. That's fine and simple. But, what of the words that are spelt similarly and mean different things? I then have to remember a kind of narrative around that word and remember that words C and D should be stored in separate but related files because they may look the same but they inhabit a different register or field. That means I am asking myself to remember the word and its difference, rather than figuring out the language on its own terms. 

This is exhausting and fruitless. I'm not sure how to get beyond this habit, because it is my (and many others) inclination to see patterns and to relate it to prior learning, hence the frustration. I think that I will have to find new modes of approaching the language and immersing myself in it in order to go beyond seeking out commonalities and allow it to inhabit its own archive in my memory bank. I think that, in part, I need to do it by stepping back from only looking at the language at a micro-level (i.e. word by word) and read, listen and watch more extended pieces. The issue with this is where to find material (you can only ask so much of a teacher) that suits my own particular needs and interests?

This brings me to curation, which I will discuss in a future post. In the meantime, I'm off to listen to a podcast and see where that brings me.


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